What if I told you there was a movie coming out with a cast consisting of Bruce Willis, Josh Duhamel, Rosario Dawson, Vinnie Jones and 50 Cent? You’d get kind of excited and wonder when it’s coming out, huh? Maybe just a little?
Then you’d watch this trailer and laugh. And laugh and laugh. Here’s the story: Duhamel plays a firefighter who has to testify against a criminal. He’s placed in the witness protection program, but the villain finds him and goes after his wife. So he has to fight fire with fire (the title of the film, see what I did there?) and attack the bad guys.
Let that soak in. Yup, it sounds exactly like a movie the USA Network would concoct. Or hey, you could probably walk into a Blockbuster (if there’s one still around you) and find a Cuba Gooding Jr. movie with the same premise.
It gets worse though. As you watch the trailer you get confused, mostly because it looks like it was cut by a guy getting through film school at night while working a 8-hour part time job at Hot Topic to pay his way through school. I mean, there’s even a Linkin Park song. An old Linkin Park song.
Then, when you think it couldn’t get better: the movie uses gold title cards that flash and shower the screen with gold dust whenever they reach their maximum font size. Well, you can’t win ‘em all can ya? [via ScreenCrush]