The Oscars have come and gone, and frankly — they were largely boring. The Oscars played it safe this year, but that’s probably because the show fell apart in the final hour and Brett Ratner and Eddie Murphy pulled out. Brian Grazer and Billy Crystal stepped in to save the day, but they ultimately couldn’t pull together a good enough show.
The Oscars are more important than simple entertainment for us normal folk. It can shift a lot of money in Hollywood and make careers. It can also give some actors a huge sense of accomplishment after a long career. So here we’ll chronicle the winners, losers and the best moments. After you can see the full winners list.
Jean Dujardin – The French actor was trending like crazy after he won, and he’s been building some steam in American popular culture over the past couple weeks. Have you seen his awesome Funny or Die clip? He was also on SNL! He’s a great comedic actor, and I’m sure a lot of people find him incredibly handsome. Not only will his price tag hike up, but he may be making his debut in Hollywood sooner rather than later. Think Javier Bardem, but French.
Octavia Spencer – This may have been the best moment at the Oscars as well. It was pure emotion and it really made you feel for her. She’s been a character actor her entire career and directors have exploited her eyes’ ability to bug out for laughs for years, but she finally gets her due. Shame on the Oscars for rushing her off the stage. She’s waited years for this kind of appreciation and that’s what she gets? Blah! Go go Octavia!
Meryl Streep – She took home her first Oscar in years, and she wasn’t sorry about getting another nomination. She realized she wasn’t the one most people wanted to win, but ey, whatever – a win is a win. Whatever you think about her, Meryl Streep is one of the two best actors of the past generation. The other being the amazing Daniel Day-Lewis.
Christopher Plummer – He charmed the entire world with his winning speech for the Oscar that’s avoided him for far too long. “You’re only 2 years older than me, where have you been all my life.” That line must have put smiles on the face of everyone. Christopher friggin’ Plummer, class act.
Michel Hazanavicius – The French director took a fairly bold risk in making a silent film in 2012, and although it wasn’t as good as it could have been it was still a good movie. Like Dujardin, this is a huge boost to his career. Normally known for comedies like spy movie spoof series OSS 117 he now has international fame. How long until he makes another Hollywood film?
The Weinstein Company – Much maligned over recent years, the Weinstein brothers came away with 8 – EIGHT – Oscars. You may not agree with some of their policies, but boy do they know how to promote films for Oscar wins.
Bret McKenzie – Flight of the Conchords! Muppets! This is one of the best wins of the night. The bad part? It looks like he forgot to thank Jason Segel, who willed this Muppets film into existence. Did you see Segel? He looked like he won Best Actor.
Asghar Farhadi – The Iranian filmmaker brought pride to many Iranians with the Best Foreign Language Film win for A Separation. He was right too, Iran’s politics overshadow the culture of the country and its people. Their film industry, although limited by the government, has some of the most daring filmmakers in the world. This country has loads of movie making talent, and it’s about time that was recognized.
Viola Davis – It’s hard to call her a loser, but it’s easy to see that she put a lot of herself into her role in The Help. To not see her rewarded for it last night hurt. Fortunately, I believe she’ll have another opportunity in the future. After all, she was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for appearing in Doubt for 5 minutes.
Moneyball – This film ran into the wrong opposition. This underdog tale had career performances for both Jonah Hill and Brad Pitt, and it’s hard to see either of them getting a better chance to win an Oscar than this. It will be interesting to see if Hill is referred to as Academy Award nominee in a future film advertisement. Didn’t think you’d see him on that stage after Superbad, did ya?
Jennifer Lopez – The Nip Slip Seen Across The World. It was honestly hard to concentrate on anything else during whatever gag J.Lo and Cameron Diaz were doing. I’m sure this was an FCC violation of some kind. But you know what, whatever. JLo’s Nipple even has a twitter account!
Angelina Jolie – First, she’s way too skinny. Second, her weird leg pose inspired a fun moment from Jim Rash, one of the winners for Best Adapted Screenplay and also launched it’s own twitter account!
Emma Stone – Her non-banter banter when she was presenting was the best of the lot. Although she was the weakest link in the mega-acting monster that was The Help, she’s still a young star that’s bound to take America by storm. Let’s just cool the jets on that “Emma Stone should host the Oscars” campaign.
Robert Downey Jr. – Whether it was the Werner Herzog quip or his live documentary The Presenter, RDJ is amazingly entertaining in whatever he does. Keep getting him to present, he always injects an award show with some real fun.
Chris Rock/Ellen Degeneres – Although they didn’t host the Oscars this year they really made a case they should do it in the future. Rock came in and delivered instant energy and comedy and made a case that he should host the show again. Hell, I’m sure he would too. He hinted that he’d love to do it pre-show. It was hard not to watch the hilarious JC Penny commercials and wonder why Ellen couldn’t host the Oscars next year either. Make it happen, 2013 Oscar producers.
Martin Scorsese Drinking Game – Your reaction to this might have been utter confusion followed by laughter. This was normal, don’t worry about it.
Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis – Pure hilarity. Awkward, funny, what more could you want?
Cinematography: Robert Richardson, Hugo
Art Direction: Dante Ferretti and Francesca Lo Schiavo, Hugo
Costume Design: Mark Bridges, The Artist
Makeup: Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland, The Iron Lady
Foreign Language Film: A Separation
Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help
Film Editing: Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Sound Editing: Philip Stockton and Eugene Gearty, Hugo
Sound Mixing: Tom Fleischman and John Midgley, Hugo
Documentary Feature: Undefeated
Animated Feature: Rango
Visual Effects: Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman and Alex Henning, Hugo
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Original Score: Ludovic Bource, The Artist
Original Song: Bret McKenzie, “Man or Muppet” from The Muppets
Adapted Screenplay: Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash, The Descendants
Original Screenplay: Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Live Action Short: The Shore
Documentary Short: Saving Face
Animated Short: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Best Actor: Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Best Actress: Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Best Picture: The Artist