You know what I hate? When people mess with established characters not for artistic or narrative reasons but for pure greed. James Bond drinks martinis, not Heinekens. Bond has a high class air about him. You want to be him. He drives Aston Martins, drinks expensive drinks and sleeps with beautiful women. He’s not an everyman. Stop messing with him, damnit.

One woman Bond couldn’t get is Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games. No, not because she isn’t a strong woman or attractive. It’s because she’s 16 you perv. Mattel and Lionsgate are capitalizing on that fact and ignoring the whole “Katniss kills kids to survive” thing and is going ahead with a Barbie doll based on the character. I’m sure Katniss herself wouldn’t be into the idea of selling dolls of her to kids, especially when that doll comes with toy version of the bow she used to pierce a kid in the heart. Fun.

You know what pierces my heart? Jim Henson’s lovable Muppets. I grew up on The Muppet Show and his awesome pitch for the original Muppet Show is genius. I find it hard to believe a kid would totally grasp it, because it so comfortably straddles two clashing cultural ideas but it works brilliantly. JASON SEGEL DAMN YOU RETURN FOR THE MUPPETS 2. Phew.

At least we’re getting Anchorman 2 though, right? Director Adam McKay was talking to Slate and revealed a tidbit about the plot: custody battle. I’m Ron Burgundy’s son? Although really, did anyone see Burgundy and Corningstone lasting long? She was totally into him for his body.

Speaking of bodies, Jennifer Love Hewitt has a great one. It’s so great the people advertising her new show thought hers was too hot for most people. So they ordered her boobs reduced in the advertisements for The Client List. She’s not happy about it. She’s proud of her body! Perhaps they think it’s too intimidating for other women? But if you wanted guys tuning into Lifetime the reduction isn’t necessary.

Moving on to another popular 90s actress that’s trying to get work in 2012: Jennifer Aniston. She’s carving out a nice niche for herself as the girlfriend in comedies. You know the role, the one where the actress just has to kind of play a semi-romantic interest while adding little to no comedy to the film and could probably be replaced by any other actress on Earth. This time it’s as a hooker in a movie with Jason Sudeikis. Olivia Wilde’s boyfriend plays a drug dealer who hires a fake family so he can smuggle drugs and blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah is probably all that enters the heads of these people. They all didn’t realize that the Titanic was a real ship that actually sank and actually destroyed a lot of lives. Go read a book please.

This guy definitely needs to. He faked worker’s comp at his job as a nurse for adults with learning difficulties to be an extra on Wrath of the Titans. I bet he didn’t figure on the Wrath of his Employers being his next feature.

For Anne Hathaway’s next feature, Les Miserables, she cut off all her hair. Tell me she doesn’t look like Winona Ryder in Girl, Interrupted. 

There are no interruptions in this video compilation of Nicholas Cage’s best silent moments. He’s so goofy and awkward it’s amazing. Even when he’s silent. I’m sure you haven’t noticed though, you’ve probably avoided his last five films.

This movie isn’t one you’d miss though. Jaws is getting a Blu Ray that’s remastered and restored and it looks so beautiful. I’m gonna need a bigger TV.